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29 December 2009 @ 12:44 am
do you feel?  
Sometimes, I think that maybe I feel emotion different to most people. Stronger.
I already know that I have a strong sense of empathy, but the depth of what I feel, emotionally, can be astounding.
It fills my chest, it swells, it pushes out, it hurts. I fill with joy, and sadness, and anger, and loneliness, and pride, and a million emotions. Mine, and others. I struggle to separate feelings. I don't go to church much anymore, because everytime I am there, I am on the edge of tears. I don't know why. I just get overcome with emotion. I feel everything at once. I feel what I feel- my own hopefulness, my own thankfulness- but also, I feel like...like I am absorbing the emotions of others. I know it sounds ridiculous, but sometimes, it's like the air is alive, full of other people's thoughts and sincere emotions, and I'm breathing that in. I can't escape from what I feel.

It's why I struggle to understand the lack of humanity in our world. I don't think I could physically ever be apathetic, because I'm inherently so empathetic. That doesn't always mean I'm going to be sympathetic (overuse of "thetic" yet?) but it means I understand, at the very least on some limited level. There is this...spectrum of understanding. It has taken me some time to realise that some people don't care on the same level as others. I've always been confused and unable to comprehend this, but I think I'm beginning to understand. Not everyone feels in the same way. This is all a weird concept, I know, but I genuinely feel physically affected by emotions, and I especially tend to connect with the feelings of those close to me. My stomach, my lungs, my chest brim until I am so full, it starts snaking up my neck. I get goosebumps, my throat tingles and my skin feels hot to touch. I don't understand why, but I feel profoundly affected by what others feel.
Tanya.tanya_90 on December 28th, 2009 04:40 pm (UTC)
that's why the world would be such a better place if there were more people like you.

TSfoxy105 on January 19th, 2010 04:08 pm (UTC)
I feel like you sometimes. & other times I feel like I fall into the i-don't-care category. I think we all just need a balance :/